conviction
So I was reading today in Philipians (1:12-20) and I was both convicted and encouraged by something. I have found myself quite cynical lately about people using God and anything related to the gospel, God's story, for financial (or any other sort of) gain. But Paul here talks about those who preach the name of Christ for selfish motives versus those with good motives and says he rejoices in BOTH because the name of Christ is going out. Paul is focused on the glory of God and therefore is not concerned with the motives of those preaching it. Granted God sees motives and deals accordingly (in this life or in eternity) but it is not to be our primary concern. So basically I need to stop being cynical and pray that God gives me such a passion to see his name exalted that my life overflows with joy in him and is not distracted by the corruptness of others. Keep in ming this was also coming from a guy who was in prison and who many of these false motive people were trying to "distress".
the obesity epidemic?
I just watched an extremely intriguing and humorous documentary called "Supersize Me". You've probably heard of it. This guy does a documentary on the fast food industry and the obesity problem in America in general and to drive home his point and add shock value to the whole thing this guy goes on a "McDonald's only" diet where he eats three meals a day from your favorite neighborhood fat store and if they ask if he wants to supersize it he must answer yes. He endures thirty days of this torturous ordeal, gains 25lbs, almost destroys his liver and shows America that we are fat and rediculous.
My point however is that there is something beyond just this. Yeah we're fat and need to eat better and exercise more but this isn't our main problem. America has this issue of pride where everything we have has to be more than the next guy. "I want a bigger coke and fries than you" or "I want the biggest house, tv, and gas-guzzling SUV to drive to my gigantic high-rise office building in downtown and back to the suburbs"(I don't see sport or utility in that picture). We have an insatiable need to feel better about ourselves by the things we have and can get. Food is not just about sustaining us or even about taste but its about "more" including more food for your money (i.e. cheap fast food in mass quantities). This is a product of Satan telling us we need these things to satisfy us. All told though we will never be satisfied by food, drink, sex, cars, houses, businesses, investments, hobbies or anything else. We can only be satisfied by God who is the maker of all things including food and designed it to be used for a purpose and with thanksgiving and we have warped it to no end. This is also a product of "the fall" and the reason why God sent Jesus to save us from this sin. That is beautiful truth - we can be saved from this need to fill our lives with everything this world says will do the trick and find satisfaction in the one who made it all in the first place. Obesity is not the main epidemic (which I looked in the dictionary and epidemic can be used of things that are widespread that don't necessarily have to be contagious disease); it is a symptom of the main epidemic which is the sin in this world due to us trying to find satisfaction in things that are not God.
the meaning of temporary
So I was conversing with a good friend from my high school days (Anthony) the other night about the whole issue of what does God have for us next and what should we be doing related to that. I have wavered back and forth between "planning for the future" and wanting to just get in the car and drive with my eyes closed and see where I end up (probably the hospital). In any case it is a struggle because I feel like all of my plans have to be self-created since I don't feel God telling me "go here". But then if I just sit and wait I feel lazy and useless and anxious because I feel like life is passing me by. But I think the key thing is this. If we find ourselves at the point of being totally consumed with knowing and enjoying God and that creates in us the contentment we were meant to feel in him, then we will be walking by the Spirit in which case we will just know when and where we are supposed to go next. Now of course this is hard to do. And I think most of us suffer from the problem of being too consumed with what's going on with us and "how can God answer me with what I am supposed to do?" instead of just finding our satisfaction in Him. It's kind of like the better I know my wife the more I just know what she would want in certain situations - I don't have to ask her but often I do ask her as part of the relationship. Just be with God - seek Him and the answers will come.
the callout week
So this is the week where FPL gets to own my life (or at least try). Starting Monday I became the "duty supervisor" which is a fancy term that really means "the guy we grab by the ... and make shove his face in 3 day old garbage" (mmm here's a nice dirty diaper). Basically the collective "they" who no one can positively identify have decided that almost everything is a matter of utmost importance and must be addressed immediately. So therefore I get to spend my nights and weekend tied to my cell phone and pager to answer every beck and call of the dispatcher (and it's not his fault - he just calls because he's told to by "they").
Sometimes it is something legitimate - for example last night I had to drive down to a station at 10:30 pm to find out what had caused a transformer to trip out (luckily the station auto-restored the way it was supposed to). It turned out to be a cat that got its guts blown out by 13,000 volts (you probably didn't know that FPL's side business is getting reimbursed from the government for animal control). Other times it is something really dumb like little nuisance alarms that could possibly be something important but usually aren't but we still have to drive to find out.
Anyway, the point of all of this is mainly to say that we live in a world that has become obsessed with money because all of this "paranoia" hinges on the fact that these "problems" have the chance of affecting "they"s bonus if people's electricity is out for a little bit. Do we ever take step back and think "it's only electricity - life goes on"? No, but that's ok and that's why "they" pay me. Of course all of this goes back to the "fall" and humanity's sinful condition that is only remedied by the blood of Jesus. And for that blood I am very thankful.
As a clarifying statement - I really do like my job and I like investigating problems and don't really mind going in the middle of the night but I don't like having to pretty much discontinue or modify all evening and weekend activities for the week. Luckily it's only once every 3 months or so.
let the madness begin
So here I am - finally starting my own although I don't really expect too many people to read it. If anything it'll be a chance for various things from my head to make their way into cyberspace where perhaps someone will read and scratch their head. Perhaps maybe even begin to see something in a new way. This would be good thing. And good things usually make me wet myself. That sounded like a line that Depends could use in a commercial. I think I'll trademark it.
